accidentally fabulous..

i was juz thinking..

2005-11-01T23:28:00.000+08:00

i was always thinking of this blog. MY blog...always thinking of what to write in it. whether my day-to-day stories should border on d completely fictional insane cravings of my mind..or just plain boring daily routines of my already mundane life...especially since it's already in the school hols. [*haihz]...funny, i always had loads of creative [ dready yes...but creative also] ideas on what to pen [ type] in here..but then, when i'm sitting point-blank facing d pentium 4 edition *something *sometime...nothing comes to me. everything went kaput...[ mayb it's coz of d bloody blaring music...]

i was frequently asked this question: why did i set up a blog in the first place..?
firstly, coz it was NOT d trend when i first had my *virgin blog. nobody was into it...[ nobody in school anyway] so, it's a significant something. now you would b wondering whether you're reading a teenage attention seeker's psycho freak..[ hey, that's getting a bit harsh]'s daily entries routines which aren't worth mentioning at all considering i'm no idol nor model to the X-generation...and trust me on this, i really am no on-the-run royalthy nor some top official's offspring...[ getting the head in the clouds..are we?]. and no, i am not blaring out my personal life for all the world to gloat at...and what if i DO in the end, become a significant somebody in this world?...you think i'll risk the risk of having some high-strung tabloid reporter *sabo my carrier..life and not to mention fame? *get outta here!~ obviously, i have a blog hidden somewhere from the prying eyes of friends under a written by a pseudonymed writer who will sounds just exactly like me...that is, if you even bother looking...[ not that i matter or anything].

hey...
you know what...
i really want to be somebody...significant. I want to be somebody who people will look up to...for instructions..for orders...who's to know? i just want to be rich...famous...possibly, well-loved? [ nah..the three can't go together]. you might say...i'm all talk and no do. haha, that's where you got it all wrong..my friend. *wrong..

yea...k..whatever.
and when i be what i want to be...i'll show them. i'll show them all. all those big-mouth, blastering, think-they're-damn-better-than-anyone-else kind of people [ oo..i know loads..in school, possibly]...and they shall see...shall see, they will...[ arg....they make me burn with anger][ to rot they shall..]

brief happiness..

2005-10-29T00:29:00.000+08:00

i was happy...i was briefly happy...i was quite happy...nevertheless...i was still happy. only briefly..*haihz...i did something that i had wanted to do...for so long, edi. i gather up my courage, i bulked in my strength, i faced my fears...[n all d crappy whatnot]...n jz did it. Funny, Nike had such a catchy motto....*jz do it*. And usually d hardest of accomplishments comes in d form of d simplest catchphrase..

i was so happy ....til i did not bother to indulge in d savoury food presented b4 me. [ maklumla, i aku kan puasa sepanjang hari...more like in denial over food..]. No, actually...i was jz sorta daring myself that i can withstand d taste, smell n every other inkling of food for 6 hours of school...not that it's any humungous feat... it's jz 6 hours...n it's not like i'm doing strenuous studying preparing for PMR [ again?!]....so, there's no real need for food then...[ eat 2 survive, not survive 2 eat..]

i'm sorta getting daring...these days. *daring....*foolish...*idiotic...all d same words. whatsoever happens..[i'm not really into]. it's d happy feeling that'll b experienced afterwards...it's like i'm addicted or something...like a *happy junkie. prowling on d happy mode..[ smirk] ....eating of every happy feeling there is...

i'm getting closer....it's so far...but i've made my mark..

GOAL scores...

2005-10-23T23:30:00.000+08:00

you read d title well and clear..GOAL's really nice...yea, and three quarters of d cinema's GSC filled with males..so stereotyped..but then GOAL's not limited 2 a gender only. and yes, i repeat again what i stated..it's a really nice show. you don't get that much now..and [i have to mention this] i like Glen Foy [ one of d characters]'s accent...it's so S-E-X-Y [ well, i obviously thought so..well mayb no..think i exaggerated..]. It's completely none english...d english ppl's so proud of their stiff upper lip. Jen said Glen's accent is Scottish..mayb yea. and i also like d way another character [ Gavin Harris] said "they're to catch a blockbuster" not " watch a movie". yea i know, it's not completely authentic...but then it's not one of those phrases used here in Malaysia..izzit? nvm..i'll implement it. [ but then some ppl sure say i'm trying to act gedik] . Obviously David Beckham made a cameo appearance.. and some Alan Shearer or something. [sorry ppl, i don't do soccer.]

And yea, Jen was dressed nicely. Really eye-catching clothing you got there Jen. [ to you-know-who...you should b sorry for losing her..cheh]. I? normal only la. nothing to hallyboo bout. realy boring dready clothes...[fyi, made in d States].

and yea..i do prefer going out in small numbers. nothing exceeding three i think..that'll b kewl. Or else they'll b forming puaks...n Angeline came along..[ no actually..she planned d whole thing, mz give her credit..] and we all talked lor. mostly girl stuff..nothing 2 b interested in. you know what..i really wanna go out 'gain. bt wit d right ppl of course...or else it'll b a chore...

'yea..k..whatever'. i like d phrase....along with ' gawddamned *something *something'. So it's trademarked ppl...no usage of it unless i permit so..cheh. yea..k..whatever. *night night.

a 15th birthday...

2005-10-21T23:42:00.000+08:00

my days are numbered..i know. *haihz..humans, mere playthings who trod the earth and lavish in all its splendour. though great and commanding we are...we'll be returning to the earth soon...it's juz a matter of time.

well, thought i give this blog a revamp...not that many ppl know bout it though...not that i'm some prime minister's daughter or all the whatnot...thought i make myself happy...think i'll keep updating here and not have numerous flings elsewhere...getting old, you know.

well, it was not and uneventful birthday, to say the least. but i was touched somewhat with angeline's willingness to get me something - what you ppl call a birthday present- for i'm not used to receiving things..well, like i said, i'm no prime minister's daughter. see, last year..practically no one noticed that i've passed my 14th birthday...no friendster notifications, no birthday cards...no presents...no that i complain, it's the same every single miserable year...*haihz...so therefore, was quite suprised...and pleased..and touched..[ yea i was touched] that angeline 'went to great lengths' to purchase something. then, i got wishes from friends too..'happy birthday' they said...[ friends...can't do without them].

the day really began that day was when we boarded the bus for our KLCC Aquaria trip. the bus ride was uneventful...it was when we get in there...when we felt the atmosphere...when we heard some noisy kindergarten kids laughter...[ chuckle] .....the blue on the walls, the ceilings..the floor. when the group started moving...[fast] flitting from one fish to another...i stayed behind with d accompanying teachers. at least it gives more time for the 'oohs' and the 'aahs'. The teachers were [ honestly] constantly talking about food...about how this fish will taste and how that big one will be too much to finish in a day...[ yea, k..whatever]. Honestly..it's all fish to me..even the sharks aren't as terrifying as presumed to be...[ saw some commensialism]. It was all rather pening after the whole experience. in a nutcase, it was not exhilirating..

then...we were allowed to loiter around Suria KLCC for some time...i flitted upstairs and downstairs. decided to loiter round floor 3 for a while...was rewarded [*blush]...i did not even notice that i turned 15 when the clock chimed 12:18 p.m...was too busy searching for *something.. and though i asked for a chance more of luck...i was denied it. period...[i was like...crestfallen]

oh and yea....the prime minister's wife...Datin Seri Endon Mahmood...passed away peacefully on 20th October 2005 at 7:55 p.m....may her soul be released off all the pain and suffering it experience when it was still one with the body...

last note: i missed a lot of chances today...loads...i regretted..i am not proud of it...and i want the day to repeat all over again so i'll get to relieve the moment and hopefully...make amends..

double wins! n forgiveness...

2005-04-18T21:14:00.000+08:00

feeling satisfied with myself...

it's been like, a long time since i even bother to visit this blog...n there's no doubt that no on visited it also.....[ poor guy...referring to the blog]....no matter, i've changed the skin...hope it'll be a change of scenery....

anyway, to more important news...[ there's loads]
well, lo and beh0ld...we somehow got third for the chess MSSKL...n it's peringkat negeri! WOW! never had i represented school AND zone for such a tournament...it was awesome, really I'm telling you. well, yeah...the preassure was there....that can't be denied. especially me [ who was dumped on the first board] have to lawan with superrrr ppl...i'm dead fish most of the time...anyway, think i wanna wakil KL next year....i want KUALA LUMPUR written on the back of the jacket....you know the one...[ wistful thinking]...socially, i met lots of chess players...CBNers....MBSers...n we SABians made a bad reputation of ourselves....well, actually Alena started it. When they announced Sekolah AB, the fool of a me went up ALONE to collect the medals...ppl were laughing...They were laughing n me so stupidly, eagerly, solitarily, running to the stage only to find no others following me...it was humilating...[ blush][blush][blush]

anyway, to more humourous matters...
Jonathan...has successfully became the apple of Usha's [ Pn] eyes...well, actually he's the teacher dog while i'm away happily playing chess games...[nah, have a taste of your own medicine!] ...kesian....now Julian can't call me the 'bitch' anymore....muahahahaz *zzzz*

to serious matters,
i've finally apologised to Pn Hanimh over my incessant behavious in Geography class.. well, i *accidentally* said that " Geografi tak ada guru pun tak apa"....yeah, i know i know....i'm sorry! n she went n told Datin who taught us History...n i heard Datin kononnya *tegur* my class [ while i was away of course] .....but sadly, i was twice lucky. Pn Hanimh came into class n found me not ready to study Geography coz i was bz finishing my English work n scolded the whole class....i was as red as a beetroot [ or so i thought] .....n the whole class suffered...i wanna say....I AM REALLY SORRY....I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT NO ONE....so i apologises the next week....[ now i'm feeling considerably lighter..yippie!]

to more private matters...
i felt a pinge of curiosity mingled with jealously [ ahem] today....i don't wanna elaborate...but he was talking in a secluded place with a girl....[scream!]

SERIOUS matter...
i had a panic attack today...my heart was beating like hell n it was painful. i was supposed to b unconscious....but, by God's grace...didn't make a spectacle of myself...wait!....i rephrase the first sentence....:I ALMOST had a panic attack today..[ hehe] ....anyway, it's not a funny matter.

Michael Jackson Yearning....

2005-01-02T01:09:00.000+08:00

Starting time: 12:12 a.m.

Groovy tune: Billie Jean - Michael Jackson -

Current Obsession: checking out MJ

Well, the hols are almost over. And I'm not feeling like plunging myself into school work and everything that goes with it. The hols sorta smoothen me and made me lazy and always waking up way past 9 in the morning. And suddenly, the small paradise is about to go 'bye-bye' and, no..I can't have that!!! I have everything life have got to offer right now....no preassure...no having to pay attention to anyone anywhere giving a lecture...no nothing. Of course I have got no pocket money, no catching up on the latest gossips with chums, and no learning new stuff to fit the cells of my brains. But, hey...a girl can live without them, right!?

I'm sporting a new haricut....so it's considerably shorter though it's still in a horsetail. Well, I have no pics of my current self, minus the braces and all, and if I do..I also won't post it here. So, you just have to wait and see. I promise you...it's a whole new me. New watch - and it's a cool new metallic blue Baby-G too- new books of course, new shoes, well...my personality's still as rusty as ever.

I have got a sudden yearning for Michael Jackson's dance videos....all his cool music since the 1970s...and I particularly like 'Ben'..... I saw his 30th anniversary celebration where he did all those trademark moves with his trademark gear namely the white-striped pants and one-sided glove. It was AWESOME!!! There's no other ways to put it. The way he moves is....different. And no one, not even his imitatiors....move the way he did. It's legendary! Forget his court case and whatever there is to his personal life....it's his music and dance that capture the whole world. Someday, I'm going to buy ALL his music videos plus the dancing scences...and I'm going to sit and enjoy and reminisce what I thought of him today...He might look like a living ghost...but couple that with his dance, he looks perfectly perfect. Sorry...if I'm speaking too highly of him..

I learnt some hard lessons of life. It's not that I just noticed them....it's just right now is the right moment to bring them up. I realize from Michael J.'s life....we can't have everything in life. He got the fame, he got the music, he got the fans....but he ain't got happy marriages...and he ain't got what most of us take for granted: family love... Some times I wonder, why are we created ( now, I want no fights with those firm believers and followers of Christianity, or Muslims, or whatever race you belong to). I'm a man ( woman ) or logic and find it hard to commit to mind to things that I can't see ( though ghosts and spooks frequently invades my mind). What I see, is what I get.....No one living person can ever answer me that, right? So, my thirst my answers can never be quenched....

Ending time: 12:44 a.m.

Latest Development!

2004-12-25T22:03:00.000+08:00

Starting time: 10:14p.m.

Groovy tune: White Christmas...

Current Obsession: Looking at new things

Well, the holidays are almost over and in another blink of an eye....school will be all that'll fill my head. There's lots of development though some are too private to share here while others are mainly a bout of laziness. Well, as stated in Jonathan's blog, it gets boring after a few months....

So, anyway...Christmas came and passed....all the jolly singing had worn me out too. I'm almost ready for school...there's the shoes from Bata's 'B.first', the bag's clean...the books' bought ( though not all) , the uniform remains hanging, well..what else? I'll tell you what else. I am NOT, I repeat...NOT ready to wake up at the crack of dawn, spend 6 hours sitting on my backside listening to some new facts that have to be memorised, and return home hot and haughty. I dread for the night before schooling. Yeah, I've been through all this, for 10 years in fact. But, old habits die hard, if you know what I mean.

In the meantime, I had a jolly good time being online chatting with people ( who am I fooling? I hardly chatted!!)....there are trouble and turmoil going in my household too...though I prefer to keep mum about it...

Well, to those people to happen to READ this blog ( coz the number of visits I'm currently receiving is *0*) see you in school ( if you got to the same school I do) and sorry, I can't meet you ( if you don't )....

Ending time: 10:31p.m.

Braceless!!

2004-11-28T21:53:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: weird..

Groovy tune: Will You Love me Tomorrow

Current Obsession: being rude

Starting time: 9:55p.m.

sup peeps! jst a ltl newsflash on my curNt st8.. I'm braceless!! Sorry...had some inclination to use lingo text for no reason at all..so, yeah you've read it right..I'm officially, one hundred percent, totally braceLESS! Well, actually..it's no big occasion ( so keep the cake)...and I definietly look different without it...Now, instead of metals in my mouth...I've only got teeth!
The dentist said that I'll have to wear retainers now, for the rest of my life ( that is until my wisdom tooth pops out)...sigh..those good ole days...Used to be called " Betty" after Betty La Fea, a Spanish television series....

Another news flash...I don't know what's up with Mum...she'd called me 'stupid' twice today! What's her matter? Well, I got my back covered after the first calling...by not answering her when she wanted to talk about HERself, and me saying that I'm tooooo stupid to understand her words... And also another member of my family...my oh-so-adorable-but-a-pain-in-the-rear sister...I'm being a kind big sister and all, by playing her level kind of toys...and every time I did something she doesn't like, she'll scream! Juz to get Dad's attention, and Dad'll come thundering and asked what's wrong with my head! GAL to them! ( Get A Life, that is).....

And another thing...Studio D Stomped Malaysia! And I tried entering the watch and win competition..the prize? a DVD player! ( well, it might be nothing to you folks, but it's SOMEthing to me..)

So once again...the day is safe....thanks to...ME! ( lame motto from PPG)

Ending time: 10:07 p.m.

What d Heck!

2004-11-24T10:13:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: Lifeless...

Groovy tune: Get Down Tonight ( KC and the Sunshine Band)

Current Obsession: dreaming of an impossible future...

Starting time: there's no clock around...lost of time..

WELL...it seems the holiday's not much of a holiday at ALL!! End of school finds me positively yelping for happiness....then, the days bore on leaving me a rigid skeleton with an intact skull ( what d heck am I mumbling 'bout?) Nvermind that..I'm not going anywhere for the whole holiday month...and I'm starving hald the time..Where all the food went!!!

Survivor: Vanuatu couldn't possibly go anymore boring, or could it? Same to the Amazing Race...Nway, I spent half my days wandering away in my dreams....And to speak the thruth, I did dream a lot...Don't wanna tell about it...but I've got big plans....yes, BIG plans....

Can't wait to start the 2005 school term....Wanna get it over with...The Star paper did a typo error in its notice on the '05 PMR's date. On the 1st day of the announcement, it wrote Dec 3, 5, 6....and so on. Imagine, December... then the next day, it resumes back to October. Good news: There's a break in between most of the days..fer ex: Oct 3, 5, 6, 10, 12...cool, huh? Bad news: We had to sit for PMR ( wails!) I had to go through all the intense training like fer the UPSR...again??? Come off it! ( Thruth be todl...I had no choice, do I?)

Oh yeah, and one more thing...my comp got WHAMMED!! ( no silly, nobody hit it with a pickaxe) It had been running slower than usual lately...then Dad gave it a few tweeks, and voila! I's whammed....can't go online...can't stay connected...my life is so...doomed(not!).

Ending time: like I said, there's no clock....

Sore Loser...

2004-10-30T21:50:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: drawned

Groovy tune: -

Current Obsession: reading Dad's collection of books

Starting time: 10:01p.m.

Fer the past few days...I had been losing...and losing...and LOSING!!! Well, my first lost was to Paven, actually, I lost twice to him...which was very disappointing of myself...( in case you're wondering, it's in the game of 'speed') Then, there was my battered self tyring to keep up the pace with Jonathan. Then the all so humilating time where my sorry self losing straight games to Shasisri. 1 game after another...I descended...falling from the ladder faster than I can climb it. What's the matter with me? " It's just a game," Jonathan and Paven will undoubtly tease... I know it is just a small teeny weeny micro biny small game...wouldn't kill to lose another...but, still it's hard to accept the fact that I lost. Not only one game...I practically lose all the others after that starting point!!! That lost to Paven was the pistol marking the start of the run....

Anyway....I had been digging up treasures these few days....Old books covered with dust kept away in a forgotten place somewhere in da house....I dug up a few...by Robert Ludlum....never heard of that guy, you say? Well, he created the Bourne Identity....and Supremacy. I absolutely adore 'the Matarese Circle'. The plot's mainly about a society identified as the 'Matarese Circle' gradually taking over the world through assasination and bribery. It flanks were dominated by the world's most powerful man. In the middle of nowhere, two men, Brandon Scofield, Consular Operations and Taleniekov, KGB...were putted against each other to save the world from utter chaos. These two had traded flesh for flesh years before in numerous secret operations and had sworn to kill the other within sight. However, goverments cannot be trusted anymore...it's up to these two to 'save da world' ( the usual phrase used by every superhero ever created). However, the book's not like recent books written at the turn of the century.....you've gotta expect the unexpected...the same goes to the Bourne Supremacy...I find no need to explain on Jason Bourne a.k.a. David Webb a.k.a. the Chameleon....One word for it... : icy...

Mr Tan, apparently....does not approve of such reading materials...He came to me ( while I was reading and flashing the book to peering eyes to see) and said: " tell your parents that Mr Tan does not like his students to read this kind of books." And he went to say things like " poisons the mind" teaches ppl to go against the religion"....normally I would like to add in a few opinions of my own ( and believe me, I've got aplenty), but I just kept my silence and let him finish his speech....He went on to recommend books like 'Readers' Digest' and 'National Geographic'...My mind was spelling out messages among the lines: yeah...your'e a teacher and all...a disciplince teacher...but...so what???!! you can't and I repeat...CAN'T tell me what I should and SHOULD NOT read... I read Readers' Digest...I do even have got stacks of outdated National Geographic magazines...but let a teen have her own space once in awhile...It's not as if I'm reading porn or illegal stuff....it's just a plain thick novel!!! He's giving the impression that only non-fiction books will propel you towards riches and glory and a more successful life...forget it!!! I have my fair share of non-fiction and fiction book...and no doubt you are a religios being, but still...I'm a teen..

Pn Chin, on the other hand... more or less approved on my reading material...She said that the Matarese Circle is one great read. Serah was (astonished?) that the book I'm holding is no "Betty on her First Day to School" and Christopher...our head prefect turned Daddy...first remark was " You're reading my father's book"....Funny, a small book can garner much reaction from different people...

Fast forward to Friday: So, it was the 14th day for the Survivors on the Vanuatu Island off shore New Zealand. Well, preety boy John K. got voted out...NOT FAIR!!!!! He's strong..but that's it. (plus preety)...

I have got to take my piano theory grade 7 exam next Saturdat...and I not even fully prepared yet!!!!!

Ending time: 10:42p.m.

My Love for Interesting Happenings...

2004-10-25T21:38:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: Expectant

Groovy tune: -

Current Obsession: telling ppl to MyOB

Bush and Kerry are sparring it out! And a right...and a left!! Most of the world are watching. In fact, their vices are joining in the match. Attacks on the Al-Qaeda invasion and the Osama b. Laden man-hunt were being lauched like missles on their intended target. The younger team versus the older team. When Bush Jr, replaces Bush Sr, a term ago, he promises great things...he and Laura promises great things. Laura was the traditional supportive wife, something of Dr. Siti Hasmah, he carries herself with style and influences people around the world. And now, Kerry's wife, Teresa Keiz Kerry, is threatening his rise in the field with her over blabbings and over crappings. Wait, now I'm crapping. Anyway, it's no matter of mine in the US of A's state of affairs...But, I would like to see Kerry hold the reins for a term....

Nywayz, today had not been a total bore after all...must to my disappointment. It started off with a splendid announcement from Pn Anidah, citing those candidates for the Anugerah Budi Pekerti...can't believe it....firstly there's Christina's name( am only citing a few....for the whole list is too long), then came Vicky's, and Ariff's....then Lily....then Azrix....then....then....funnily enough, Jonathan's and Angeline's name was missing. They berbudi pekerti, what! And I was to think that an extra scroll will be a nice addition to my collection...(Fine, school! if ya want it that way, so be it!) ( Lawrence: we MUST NEVER go against the school)

Then after that, there was the really cool 'speed' game. Well, whatdya know.....Alex cheated...And Vicky's version of the game is using the motto: patience... To hell with patience! You'll never survive in the real world with patience if ya yourself doesn't grab the first opportunity that came the way! Hey, don't be mad, that's the way of life.....cruel...But anyway, since I am unofficially his sifu, expect more improvements from him. Ariff's game was a pleasant surprise... firstly it was dreadfully slow and he spent most of the game chatting away...then (I think he was angered, when I am angered, you won't have a chance in winning) he proceeded from a fresh meat to smoother Shasisri...(Shasis, you should be malu! thought he's an easy meat for you...)

After school....there was a meeting...We were sworn to secrecy to not spill the contents of the meeting...But, I can't take it anymore!!! I'll SPILL!!! They've all thought that we were incompetent enough to remain in the board any longer. So, they're fired us...like Donald Trump in the Apprentice. And they wanted us to kutip sampah after school dressed in rags and overalls....how cool can that be. And they want us to take part in a raid....Anymore stupid answers you're asking for? Ya think I'll spill da beans?? Brudder...cool it. I prefer suspense and mystery....Frankness is not my strong point....so forget it! ( But one thing I want to add about the AJKs...MyOB!)

Ending time: 10:07p.m.

Life Suddenly Slowed to Snail Pace

2004-10-22T22:07:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: bored

Groovy tune: Love is beautiful

Current obsession: Waiting for the world to stop being a bore

Well, from the above....you could easily guess that I'm really really am in a boring state right now. Even in school, which I rate as the most exciting place in my current life, had slowed to a snail pace. Day in, day out....we played mind-inspring-but-still-a-bore games, like speed. For the record, I beat Jonathan 2 out of three times. He was thrilled that he crushed Shasisri and Angeline....so I had a game or two with him...

Nyway, we got our P. Moral AND English marks back already. Again, for the record, I had the first A I ever had in my whole form 2 life in Moral!!! ALL HAIL ME!!! Well, it's just a 80%, but it's still considered an A. Ever since I entered form 2 life....Moral had been a disaster for me. It's totally different from the standard 6 type....in standard 6, all you need to do is just remember that humans are supposed to be nice...and crap all you want about your nice deeds. And in form 1, we were quite lucky, for Pn Noorzilla always added the 20% from the our behavioural marks...and in form 2...I've scored 2 Es and a D....so, it's a sort of a miracle, that I at the very least PASSED it.

English was expected ( to be an A). And it was, a 90%. Nothing else to elaborate, 'cept I dreadfully have to work on my grammar and tenses.

Why is it always that American movies have to have perfect female and male actors?? It's like giving the impression of a perfect compatible love life to reality which is hard and less than likely will follow that regiem. But still, it's those kind of actors who shot to stardom....right?

I'm feeling nauseatic and wanting to vomit now. No headaches, 'cept an irritating feeling in the stomach and throath. I finnally am able to draw an obvious conclusion: I'm sensitive to nail varnish...the smell of it can drive me to my hospital bed. (the nauseatic feeling's coming now)....

Ending time: 10:22p.m.

my 14th Anniversary...

2004-10-20T21:32:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: cynical..

Groovy tune: CSI: Miami theme song

Current obsession: talking to meself...

Today marks the day of my 14th anniversary of living on Earth. To so-called celebrate the day, a reporter from the aptly named "Cynicality is GREAT!" interviewed the B'day girl...

Reporter: So, to mark the occasion, how did you celebrate?

B'day Girl: Why the celebration?? No...I find no need to celebrate...besides, I can't afford the
pleasure of celebrating. It eats time...

Reporter: Why is it that you not want to celebrate? A birthday does not come every day.

B'Day Girl: True, in fact not most children reached their 14th birthday...I know it's
sorta special to most teenagers at least, for it's mark their entrance into
some stages in life...but however, to me...it's no big deal...I can't explain the REAL reason I find it a 'no biggie', but I think it has some kaitan with my
no-fuss personality..

Reporter: What about presents? A birthday is not a birthday without presents!

B'Day Girl:True, eventhough smart people created the idea of presents to kaut
untung from it..it still do instill some sense in me that "Wow...today's my
day"...But still it's no big deal. It's not as if I'm going to murder people or
severe ties just because I did not receive some! But, if I do get some...God
bless that said person.

Reporter: Do you feel that other people's birthday as the same as you felt yours?

B'Day Girl : Heavens, NO! They're sort of more special. To me, it's as if theirs will
mark the beginning of a new era....I don't know about you, but their
anniversary's different..and needs a different way of celebrating...

Reporter: Are there any special way where you reminded yourself that you've just
turned 14?

B'Day Girl: Well, sorta yeah...On the night of 19th october...I spent my time
reminiscing about the year that I've been through since my last
birthday. I thought of everything, mostly involving talking to myself
( you should try talking to yourself, there's no one to argue with your
opinions), and stuff about all the big progress that I've sorta achieved
( inculding becoming more and more like a chatterbox) and also about
a secret birthday wish. I can't tell you what it is ...coz it's secret...

Reporter: Are there anything that you would like to add?

B'Day Girl: Yeah..I want to thank those people who managed to wish me a 'happy
birthday' eventhough it's just a passing comment. I would like to ask those
said people to do NOT lauk ( or however you spell that word) me again
eventhough it's a tradition SAB....it's hurts...duh it does!

Extraz:

Somehow, I felt that I'm sorta lucky today....Firstly, there's the downpour in the middle of the afternoon, I loved rain...especially after school, and it sort of felt like the weather's celebrating with me. All hail nature! Then there's also another minor thingy....which i felt is inapproprite for me to mention it here and now....I will, after the problem is diminished.

Luck is also playing with me. Firstly, I received my KH exam marks ( scored a 86%, another addition to my As...unfortunately, another addition to Jonathan's As too....he scored one mark higher than me!) and then my Mathematics marks....which was a total disappoinment....(crestfallen) 72%. Second addition to my Bs. Lucky me....Angeline, Shasisri and Jonathan 'accompanied' me in my addition of Bs. Hey, I know you people are crestfallen that the mark's sorta low....but's it's sorta nicer when you're not the only one. Sue me, just because I said that.....( I sympathise your situation, for I never saw Jonathan so down-hearted before)

Well, that's all....nothing to add...except this very nice poem I found in StarTwo...

Only with darkness

ONLY with darkness can there be light,

Only with struggle can there be might,

First comes loss, before one can gain,

And with blessed pleasure, comes the pain.

Only with partings, can kindred meet,

With the bitter, comes the sweet,

From boundless strenght, there weekness bleeds,

The firmest man is roused by greed.

Only with grief, can joy comes once more,

Only with failure, can one soar,

Wield the power, pay the price,

Glory is stained without sacrifice.

Only with sufferings, does one truly know life,

Only a few have lived without a moment's strife,

A man judges poor before he is wise,

The greatest of kings still meet their demise.

Only with courage does one fear cowardice,

Only by his absence is one truly missed,

Villains repent, and saints may sin,

Strong is defeat, stronger is the will to win.

Ending time: 10:14p.m.

secrets....and facts

2004-10-18T20:59:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: bored...

Groovy tune: Chim Chim Cherri

Current Obsession: Analysing..

Frequently used word of the day: "what's your problem?"

Angeline was absent today!!! What shock! What tremor!! What horrifying thought!! Nah....no biggie....just a case of laziness...plus with the fact that that someone's not coming to school......

They presented us our 'sijil penghargaan' today....I wakiled the school for two events...the second one being the bigger one....and still, they presented me only one....the minor very embarassing event...[ which, if you check my ex will be written about how our school was mercilessly defeated and ended up in the second last placing...(sob)]. It's like soooo NOT FAIR!!! I have to bring up the case of Shasisri...who did NOT EVEN TOUCH A CHESS PIECE!!! and still is going to receive the silver medal AND the scroll, juz because WE won it for her....(fuming). Honestly, it's not as if it's her fault, right? Mostly our fault....honestly, I knew that she sort of will not be great use to the team...but she displayed great ethusiasm that I felt guilty from rejecting her the 'reserve' place....so, she's just tagging along....And the sweet fact is that after we managed to beat the SBU team and SSG ( which we took pride in, considering they're the champions) she's to receive da medal....Excuse me....which part of she-did-not-play-a-single-game did the authorities not understand???? The only thing we learned from this episode of total horror is the fact that we should choose more worthy people, people who at the very LEAST cared about the game and practised a few days before the competition, people who at least know the meaning of fork first....

Moving on to the next topic....I want to state the facts that I am NOT into girl power thingy...I think the very fact is phoney....Even though we are not born equal, what with all the goverment policies siding more with women than men....I still do believe that they're some major differences between these two genders...one of course is the obvious fact that the boys have got choromosome xy while girls got only xx. Another is also that, based on my observant from reality shows like Survivor and the Appretince, I find the ladies more successful in team-working. Look at how many times Yasur beat Lopevi in mental work AND physical...it's all down to team work people!! And how many times the women' group beat the men' in the Appretince!! The men are more inclined to working individually...Not that I'm saying that individual working's disastrous....the men dominates that field, man! WOW, you should had look at the sheer determination on them when surviving on their own. Marverlous! Differences set us apart, but similarity joined us together....

We spent the whole day playing UNO this morn...it's getting boring after awhile...get more creative people!!! ( look who's talking) ( last time I checked, it was me...hehe) Anyway, the BM papers finally landed back in our waiting hands. Surprisingly, I got an A, 80%. Never thought I have that in me....Jonathan was the highest in da class ( dear ole Teach praised his karangan work, and he blushed..and blushed..and turned redder..and redder..and kembang beberapa inchi...) ( ok, now I'm exaggerating) ...mind my frequent brackets, it's my subconcious self being a nanny to my conscious one....the English period was memorising....Everyone started 'demanding' for their English marks, then suddenly Pn Usharani bursted and said something 'bout stuff like she have to meet deadlines, her mother having a stroke and being in the hospital, and others....and everyone just zipped their lips...Anyway, after her anger cooled off and she relented, we got back our English One marks...I got a whooping 59!!! out of 60 of course ( jangan kembang.....) Kong got 58...and I there I was thinking that he'll get the better of me....

Nyway...I'm for once in my secondary life, am I glad that the hols are finally coming....it means there's no need to avoid some people anymore....damn, I just hate the thought of it....

Ending time: 9:50p.m.

Tangling troubles

2004-10-15T21:31:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: Relaxed

Groovy tune: Where is the Love?

Bulging book: the Da Vinci Code

Starting time: 9:33p.m.

Wow...a series of events followed up with style after the ending of MY exam on 11th October...firstly, there's the part where I got myself tangled up in trouble with Pn. Haslinda...I prefer not to elaborate. Then, there's the Majlis Perpisahan Pengawas...that event was particulary the dullest...The events in that particular event was jumbled up and leaving not much space for other events since we have insuffient time. In the end, Chris had to cancel the form 2 group B's performances. Honestly, it's for the better...for I will not need to embarass myself on stage...but it makes one think of the lacking in coordination in the current prefect batch. And there's not even a word of apology...they're dragging us around like rag dolls...

Then, there's the handing back of exam papers...I've scored an A for Science...cukup-cukup makan only, a 80%. And an A for Arts, 87%. Geography was also another contributer to my As, my proudest moment yet ( perasan), 92%. Sejarah was a disappointment. I mean, I ALWAYS score in Sejarah....it's my strongest aspect...coz I practically love the subject and will love it mroe if they included England's history and the World Wars...anyway, I scored a 78%.. B 1st moi...

The days after that was practically c'est ennuyuex....only card games to play, and after a few rounds, those lose favour in my eye. So, I borrowed 'the Da Vinci Code from Angeline...it was AWESOME!!! I always thought that ONLY JK Rowling have an enourmous brain, for all her Harry Potter characters names' have a hidden meaning, but Dan Brown proves otherwise. His book is loaded with tons and tons of swell info! He wrote lots of other series on a Harvard professor, Robert Langdon, but a minor drawback, all his books have the same theme...a Harvard Professor travelling around the world to solve mysteries..the professor is usually woken up in the middle of the night to answer some depressing call or another.....he'll team with an attractive capable young lady...and they'll be murder somewhere in the book. I was too engrossed reading 'the Da Vinci Code' that I did not notice Pn Chin beside me. It turns out, she wanted to borrow the book too....well, after I'm finished with it...

October the 15th is Mr Tan's birthday....we had a grandeur celebration...a big card and a small cake. The cake was NOT shared equally among the prefects...for I AND Angeline got bigger pieces and ate more....only me and her, and Lily also....Jonathan stuff 3 cherries in his mouth in one go...and lots others did not accept their share.... Come to think of it, my own b'day's coming up...hmm, must had forgotten...time flies when you're enjoying time....but, I've given up celebrating birthdays...

I had a suprise after school. But it was not wrapped up in ribbons and paper. While being outside the prefect room, Subashini hollered from below. Someone, in gray skirt called my name. "Ong Wan-Jun!"..I recognise her not....But after a second look, it's one of my juniors from my old primary school. I rushed down of course...Had a little fun...catched up a lot...and stuff like that...

I'm looking forward to more fun and laughter next week when I visit the form 1 classes again! ( I visited them this evening...1B...and Jonathan was no where in sight...he followed us, but then disappered...wonder why??)

Ending time: 9:54p.m.

End of the Voyage...

2004-10-10T18:05:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: undecided

Groovy tune: Flying Without Wings

Current Obsession: -

Starting time: 6:08p.m.

With the flourish of pens and flippings of paper...eyebrows knitting closer together...cries of shock and amusement...but still maintaning a silent atmosphere...except for the frequent laughter from next door, so thus marks the starting of our end-year exam, which we all look forward to the end. BM paper...who cares??? seriously...but still topped as the most important...On that Monday, Sejarah was too included. It was quite difficult, honestly....hey just because I'm Ong Wan-Jun, doesn't mean I find it a burden too slight to carry!

I managed to sort of glide through English and Geography the next day by cramming a few more last minute revision about a few minutes before end of exam.

Science and PJK were scheluded for Wednesday. Science was moslty logical common sense which yours truly doesn't have much of since I lost 6 points or more for the subjective paper. Only geniuses knew that hydrochoric acid reacts with calcium carbonate will produce carbon dioxide. Seriously! PJK was not that bad. But still bad enough to make me crack my head and send silent cursing messages to my dear old brain.

Thursday was the worst day of the exam week! ( do you know that Thursday was actually deprived from the God, Tyr, a Norse God of enormous strength....thus making it Tyr's Day, and Thursday). KH was fine...except for a few careless mistakes. Moral was ....eurgh! I managed to memorise everything...( well everything that teacher said would come out)...but still fared poorly. There's no need for a prodigy to tell me that I'll fail my Moral exam. We were given 2 hours to finish the paper...around me, ppl finished in say, 40 minutes..and I was still slobbering over the paper...halfway through the exam..Jonathan provided some amusement....he stick some pens into the hairband that he was wearing on his head and looked like a Red Indian...'cept he wasn't painted red. Don't get the picture? Well, they say a picture worth a thousand words..so go to 2 Maju and see for yourself...

The following writings are not fictional nor is it made-up. It was a journey yours truly had to go through and eventhough it did not affect her like it did to others...it was still an experience that will remain embedded in this blog....no matter how dusty and dangy it'll come to be in a matter of time. Disclaimer: the following characters are not fictional. Any resemblance to any person living or dead are because it's resembling that living or dead person....duh!!! Cheer up....and follow my journey ahead....

After exam on Thursday...I was practically exhausted....and not wanting to face Mathematics tomorrow. I also have my piano lesson that evening and wished that I too will not need to attend it. But duly...I set aside my Maths revision and finish up my piano hw. Suddenly a phone call in the middle of nowhere jolt me back to my senses. Dad answered it....he talked awhile....he hung up...and told me what I did not want to hear: we 're to return to Ipoh. I was like, what da hell?? It seems that my maternal Grandad is near the brink of death and might go anytime...and we're to return immedietly, according to Dad. He left me alone....I was considering my possibilities of returning AFTER I sat for my Maths exam.....zero, negative, none negotiable....So, we packed....and left...but not before I made a couple of calls. Like one to Pn Haslinda, my Maths teacher: saying that I would dearly love her if she let me sit for the exam next week, she compromised and said that she'll pass the word around that the paper is to remain strictly closed. WOW....just because of me...the whole form two is to suffer the cruel fate of closed paper! I'm good.....

Next, to Jonathan....then to Angeline.... it takes only two to pass the word, like the time I fractured my ankle...it takes only mighty Vicky to spread that I had a fall and ended up in the hospital.

We reached Ipoh at about 10:00p.m. Grandad was laying on the bed...exhausted it seems...his decendants spread around him....He was gasping for breath....the loud noise of air being sucked in and out....gives one the feeling that it was worth it to abandon one's Maths' exam and be here. I was scared to touch him....I can't believe that this is happening. I mean, he's soo weak...Grandma was annoucing my presence to him...Tears flowed freely...and I made no attempt to hide it. Around me, the men were discussing his property. The women, about wanting to post him obituary in the papers. Logically speaking...I knew that he'll die...for him breathing through the mouth give no chance of him being fed...and if he doesn't die of insufficient air...then it'll be of hunger....and I'm helpless to stop it from happening...

We decided to leave matters be and left the house... amid people telling him leave his current state and journey into the Afterlife...and checked in into a hotel nearby...

The next morning...I woke up at 8 something....and am all set to go home. However...a phone call again dampen my hopes. He died....he died!!! It struck me hard...but I made myself promise to to not cry. We made to the house. There's no more colour on his face...his skin looked yellowish with a tinge of green. I got to know later, that in the morning..his condition steadily worsen.....till he drew his last breath. He looked different somehow....already there's flowers citing condolences from various companies...there's also lots of paper-made furniture for the Chinese believed that if ya burn all these paper-made stuff, the scent will flow up to the searching soul and thus making him rich in his Afterlife. Them more you burn, the richer he'll become. Grandma bought a 9 feet lenght and 7 feet height banglo for him. It was HUGE!!!! There's also a green Mercedes Benz, and also a 2D TV and Astro satelitte....there's also two 'bridges' signifying bridges to cross from this world to the next and a kereta tunda. What a whole lot of waste paper...to waste just for burning....

Grandad stiff body was dressed in fine clothing. When they bend his arms to put on the clothes....you could practically hear the stiff muscles cracking. I refused to believe that he's dead, and a puppet to his dressers. He was later put in his coffin, we were told to look away. When I look at him in his finery and coffin...I saw a black butterfly with orange piping near the lid. It is unusual for a butterfly to wander around at night, for they're famed as morning insects. It did not move even as I walked nearer. Some said that it's his soul.....looking over his decendants fussing over his funeral proceedings...

Grandma also hired some professionals on the funeral proceedings... they chanted stuff that you and me would not know. Even with my poor Mandarin, I could understand that what they're chanting is not modern Mandarin. They donned on costumes and gave us orders to follow their lead. We were all dressed in black or white: in the family, sons are given the importance. If you related to the deceased through his son, you're to wear black....and in my case, through Mum, I was to wear white. They gave us joss sticks and I had a great deal of 'fun' burning myself continuously. They asked us to kneel...we kneel...they told us to sit..we sit...they asked us to bow....we bow. Practically everything. It was almost like an opera...at the end of it, it left his children crying....I had enough of it halfway through the ceremony. It's too elaborated. Why need this much of ceremonies for one deceased???

However, it was not all gloom and no fun. I had a few fun with my cousins. And I say, I have got cute cousins. Most are 5 and below, and my sister being the eldest one. Foley and Elizabeth are about my age, with Foley being 2 years my juniour and Elisa, 5. However, I did not act my age and joined in the fun.

On the third day, Grandma hired a band...primary school children...to perform....Honestly, they're no better than amateurs.....the coffin was put in the 'kereta mayat' and brought to around the neighbourhood. We, the relatives, are to walk in the blazing sun behind it....later, it was brought to rest at a nearby cemetry. There, tears really flowed. It was the last time to say goodbyes. They dugged the hole deep and heave the coffin into it. Elisa could be heard sobbing loudly. When finally, the last praying was done....we left the site.

It was not full, my description, for I rather keep some memories by my side. And because my fingers are sore from typing that much. Whatever it is.....it was one journey incapable of being deleted fully from the memory....for the day he left, was the day a sparkle had gone from his those who loved him most. Thus, ends the voyage of a man....Death is just a reign of freedom from the cruel world of Man...it is like a man returning home after journeying for his whole life...discovering the best of the world and also the filth that it can indulge you in.....and after achieveing everything, laying down to rest forever....for none can live forever...

Ending time: 7:56p.m.

Reminiscing

2004-09-30T21:34:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: reminiscing

Groovy tune: Hopelessly Devoted to You

Current Obsession: talking

Bulging Book: Sejarah form 2 textbook and Seni textbook

Starting time: 9:37p.m.

I sorta felt a bit uneasy over the responds over my last entry. Ok people...jsut to make things easier...I tarik balik all that I said.

Anyway...while packing for the Seni exam tomorrow...I found a piece of history...MY history... Not that anyone of you out there....SABians...know about. It's an envelope...containing bits of nothingness and a badge. OBS badge. Outward Bound School. It's sorta like a training camp, with a touch of NS too.

First day I went there, I hated my parents. I never said that I wanted to spend my November school hols in Lumut!! for 10 whole days. I'm the kind who never even went out camping before, and now you're expecting me to stay there for 10 days and 9 nights?? And I was not ready to make friends. Most of them are form twos ( 2003)....looking old and matured. But, for this entry...I'm dedicating it all to my friends even though they would not know of the existence of this blog.

I was sorted into the Tahan group... OUr 'brother' is the Mulu group. First day there, I saw Manisha. I was overjoyed....for I thought that I might not be in a camp with strangers after all! But, no..she's sending off her lil' bro...Parthiban ( I found it hard to remember his name...so he suggested an easy way : Parties at his house always Burns ). Anyway, there're loads of colourful characters over there. Not all are from KL.....some came to Perak here from as far as Johor... But most's from SMKDU ( Damasara Utama). Almost immedietly...the people in the group form their own gangs. Guess which one did I belong?? None...I was a wanderer...sometimes settling with the girls....at other times with the boys...Cuz you see, I can't stand the girls' "always-say-die-attitude sometimes, so I mangled with the boys.

I learned a lot about the 'unspeakables', from the males. They'll take something innocent...like say, a song of Old McDonalds....and change it into something censored. While the girls did a lot of work...the boys are more of fun and play. Still it was fun hanging out with the both of them.

I miss Heng Kai, sometimes...No, he's not a bf....he's our group mentor. And Ning Jia also...he's the cute one...he's the group assistant....yeah, he's name IS NING JIA ( try pronoucing it NINJA).

They taught us a lot. We stayed in a village sort of life...but with all the facilities...there's domitories...but domitories are only available if you manage to climb up 250 over steps. The highest located domitory is the "Kinabalu" domitory....honestly, I never went up there....(boys' dorm)...but there's loads of fireflies sighted...
There's no public transportation...nor are we prohibited to contact our family members. For ten days, they are our family members. If we need to reach a hiking destination...we'll have to walk there. Even if it's kilometres far away. And when we do reach the site...we have to climb using our hands and legs....no modern pick-ups except for the ropes and belayers. It's hard work...it is. There's no safety pads, no anything...we had to use sheer brutal strength...and grit our teeth while climbing the 20 feet over huge boulder (bukit). Turns out...not everyone completed it. Well, in case you're wondering..I did!

Anyway, at the end of the ten days period, I set out for home!! It was a truly special day! I missed home since the first day I step on OBS grounds. I posted two postcards, one to them and one to Angeline....until now, I still have no idea why I posted to Angeline....and I wrote a daily diary on all the happenings that took place since the first day. Unlike all the other participants, I proposed to go home boarding the bus. It'll be a 2 hours ride from Lumut to the Kuala Lumpur station. I was overjoyed!

The first thing that I did when in reach of a phone was to phone Mum. I loved her voice at that time. Next, was Angeline. I can't love her that much can I? To phone long-distance?? Weird....
I was glad that at last the journey ended....At that time, I willed to myself not to step in OBS grounds again....But now...I would want to relieve the whole expericence once more....with my SABian friends by my side...After PMR maybe....

p.s.: one thing that I find hard to forgive myself: I forgotten my sister's angelic face during that trip! I wanted to remember...but it was totally wiped out from my memory....how cruel of me. But, I did pack some Pulau Pangkor sand back for her. I had to drag the 2 kg something bag back to KL!!! it's just that the sand's so different from P.D....so, I brought it along as a remembrance of the unforgettable trip I had .....in OBS...in Lumut...

Ending time: 10:41 p.m.

It has Begun....!!!

2004-09-29T16:58:00.000+08:00

Blast of emotion: preassured

Groovy tune: For Once in My Life

Current Obsession: revising....( who wants to be obsessed with that!??)

Bulging book: Sejarah textbook form 1 and 2

Starting time: 5:02p.m.

I like rain....I like thunderstorms....as long as it doesn't make me late for anything!! Today...I had a great shock....Normally, I'll wake up at the crack of dawn ( the latest, by 6:30a.m.)...but just because of the thunderstorms thundering outside, I can't even hear my alarm clock over the rubble! So, naturally....I had a lie-in.....dreamed more....that is, until Dad's booming voice woke me up at ....err.. 7:00a.m.?? 7:00a.m.....when traffic are most jammed...seven a.m., when my fellow prefects' are reporting their attendance....7:00a.m., when I'm supposed to be in school!!!

So, there's no dragging out of the warm comfy bed this time....I jumped out of bed, brush my teeth, dressed, and fussed over a few hundered other things....and started out by 7:05a.m. It's 7:05a.m......it's raining....and I'm late. Not that I care, honestly....all it needs is another letter, punched at the sides, and signed. No, what I cared was, whether I'll reach school in time. School is 10 minutes drive at top speed....15 minutes without traffic....and 20 minutes at snail pace. So, naturally...Dad opted for the latter, for it's raining and it's jammed. I reached school at 7:21a.m. 1 minute out of line....Luckily there's no AJK tertinggin over there....or else I'll be barbecued!

I was studying last night....not burning the midnight oil, mind you...but plain old traditional method of studying...until 10:30 p.m. It's not late, normally I retire at 11:30....never 12:00....( I sorta want to avoid any fishy happenings, for 12:00a.m. IS an auspicious time). So far, I managed to jam in the Sejarah form 1 facts....I'm ready to vomit it all out once the exam's over. This entry is going to be a long one.....for I did not update for a considerable amount of time....and I'm missing Martin Mystery of this!!! ( cries)

Christopher had finnally spilted us into two groups. I was actually overjoyed....to be in my current group. It just goes to show that humans do make errors. If Kong Kong and Vicky, you're reading this...no offense. I am just stating my own opinions. And there's no need to change the original plan just to make me happy. I am in Group B. With Jonathan, Vicky, Christina...Fatin. Well, a lot of TALENTED people. Talented people with authority. It sometimes make me feel....err how do I put this in perspective....small. They're planning to act a story on Goldilocks with a few twisted elements. Honestly...I do admit...I am not adaptable. I have to take a few days to get used to new things. I sincerely do not like it. (Again, no offense) The audience will not understand it....because msot of the humour is in the words. Audience prefer action. But, who am I to talk???? Vicky, Kong Kong....if you change the original plan...I'm so going to kill you people.

The form 1's performance is way cool! Not because it's professional or because it's better than ours'....it's sort of because they have cooperation.....a good director.....damn great actors....and they're like another great big family. I felt more comfortable with them then with the form twos. They're fun to be with. Sometimes....I just felt like abandoning my group and enter theirs. But, you won't catch me doing that....I'm way loyal (kononnya).

Jonathan ( Kong Kong), we call him that because his surname's 'Kong', is a bit lost these few days. He lost the 'Goldilocks' script twice....broke his specs' frame...and almost lose his mobile. What's the matter? Exam preassure? I am feeling it.

Xin Leng was predicting happy-ever-after-lives of each and every one of us. It's based on their attitudes. Jonathan's was a surprise....he'll pamper his wife??? Never thought of the possibility...Angeline's the romantic type. Xin Leng said Angeline will to be proposed behind a romantic setting....Shasisri??? OMG!!!

Xin Leng: She'll marry first....among the rest of us.
Shasis : Aiyoh...me?
Xin Leng: She's the kind who's desperate for marriage.....

Lily want's power in her family. You will notice that I left out me myself....The fact is: I'm not writing on me. Disclaimer: The characters above are merely fictional. Any resemblance to any person alive or dead is merely coincidential...

Ending time: 5:36p.m.

Mission SOOOOO Possible

2004-09-26T15:30:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: sneaky

Groovy tune: advertisement of 'Gimme gimme gimme, what I want'

Current Obsession: pondering over my next move

Starting time: 1555 hours

Mission: Get to any shopping mall, grab a pencil case....pay with ur own money

I needed a pencil case, since....ages ago! Since, Xin Leng made a hole in my cute Winnie the Pooh productions black one, and Shasisri tore off the trademark sign. How brutal of them....I never thought...that is would have an end like this.....Anyway, so, I decided to buy one...with my own money, as a treat to myself. And since, the Jaya Jusco Maluri's the nearest shopping centre to my neighbourhood, so that's my destination. I went to the 2nd floor, the part outside MPH bookstore, and started browsing.

Requirements: must not be over RM20.....not too big

There's not much choice there....but still they came in all shapes and sizes. Some's tooo big.....while other's too small. Why would ppl want ENORMOUS pencil cases for? And when, it's just the right size, the colour's not right. Of course, they still sell the boxes type....but hey, I'm too old for that! And yeah, there's a lot of Disney productions available...Sailormoon...PPG ( Powerpuff Girls). They look nice and all, but not fitting for a secondary student like me. At last I found the right one...not too huge, not to mini....the colour's beige with orange zips...and it's "KK rabbbit". Never heard of it, but nevermind, it'll do.

The Glitch: it's not with a price tag nor plastic cover

The prob, the pencil case that had caught my eye's not with a price tag. And I do not want to ask for assistance from the salesgirls. So, what else options do I have except abandon it? Furthermore, there's no other same pencil case with the same design. I left the place, with shattered hopes..... I went to the other section, which was quite a distance. 12 feet to be exact. I browsed again. And I saw the same design!!! So, there's hope after all! Except, the case is a yucky yellow colour. Yellow's not what I call nice, especially when it's bright yellow...EURGH! And it has a price tag attached to it. RM 9.90. So, this the ONE!! 'Cept for the colour. I had an idea..

Time to operate mission no. 626a4: "ideas are ideas if they're not put into action"

I stared closely at the both pencil case that I have now in my hand. Both the same design...the same brands....same price...but different colour. I wanted the beige one. That's why, I needed to make a move. I had in my head, the wanting to take out the price tag from the yellow case, and attached it to the beige's. But, on my left, there's a HUGE security camera. Oops...I 've forgot about security! The place must be swarming with it! Even if my crime's not as bad as a shoplifter's one, it'll may still seemed that I'm shoplifting.

Solution: look for a safer place

So, I did. I observed all the security cameras. Looked for a weak spot. Spotted it. It's a corner, but I'll still be visible to passerbys. No time to worry about that. So, in less than 30 seconds....I've taken out the price tag, and put it onto the beige case's. Put back the yellow case at it's place. And went to the cashier counter, and paid.

Logical explanation: Actually, to be fair to myself...I DID NOT COMMIT A CRIME. At least, a crime that's not big enough to land me into jail. If ya a policeman looking for criminals across the web, and you've jsut read my above sentences, you can't pin me down. For there's no evidence that I've commited the crime that I said I've commited. In the JJ's finacial data, a non J-card member had just purchased the product '7961 ZG Pencil Bag NP' with the serial number '00000050345'. It said I've paid...not stole. And the price of the two pencil cases are the same...I did not paid less nor more.

Afterword: Mission Accomplised! Congratulations, private 606.

I hope, my little mischief today will not land me into some big career involving stolen goods or even gangterism....If it's with the CIA or even FBI...I wouldn't have mind...Imagine....if someone wrote an biography on me in the future...there'll be a sentence like the following: ....she had sneakily created chaos in the shopping centre for her own amusement.....this proved that she has the makings for a major shoplifter in the future....EUGH! Never! But, I ought to congratulate myself....for the success.....CHEERS..(I was still thinking about it over an ice-cream chocolate sundae...from McDonalds)

Ending time: 1616 hours

Eat Your Words...Dolly!!

2004-09-25T22:06:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: gleeful

Groovy tune: the blog's tune

Current obsession: editing blog skins

Starting time: 10:09 p.m.

Watched Survivor. For the first time, the ladies experienced defeat. Well, you don't win all the time. I felt sort of happy for the guy's part, for Rupevi won the imunity challenge, 'cuz they are out of fire and had to resort to eating worms, even though I'm a female myself. The living conditions must be harsh, for the women were chasing a hen....which had lain 5 eggs. It's so unmerciful of them!! But, if I'm out of food, I might do the same.

So, at Yasur's first tribal council, there was a really talkative lady there, Dolly's her name. She boasted to Jeff, the host, that HER decision will decided on the first woman to be voted out. As IF!! So, it must be a shock for her to find out that her name was written down, and a double shock that she was sent off. To me...she gets what she deserved. If she had wanted to win friends over, there's no need to boast that she's friendly to both sides. That must be a harsh lesson to learn.

I had promised Jonathan and Lily that I'll make it to Sekolah Kebangsaan Desa Pandan's Canteen Day. Unfortunately, I had to call of the appointment at the very last minute. The reason will got unstated here.....I want to hurt no more feelings. Later, I found out that the Canteen Day was a bore, from Jonathan's MSN messenger's screen name.

It rained heavily again, today. The weather really got some catching up to do, after all the sunny skies in the first half of the year.

I read from a magazine today, that girls are more prone to peer preassure than boys. Well, it's like so obvious....Girls are ALWAYS comparing clothes...boyfriends..hair...down to the tiniest diffence. Trust me, I know...I have enough girlfriends around to make a survey on it.

More and more ppl are creating blogs. Well....I have to say...I DID contribute in the rise in number. People like Vicky, who he claims have no time for other things, are creating a blog....and his best mate, Ariff. Hmm, never saw that guy online, until recently. Why the sudden urge in creating a blog? ( it must be the 'in' thing for now...)

Ending time: 10:31 p.m.

Wonder why...

2004-09-24T20:58:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: Freed!

Groovy tune: Martin Mystery soundtrack

Current obsession: doing Maths hw

Bulging book: Scandal ( private stories of public shame)

Starting time: 9:02p.m.

I felt like a disappointment today. Felt like I've disappointed Pn. Foo....felt like I disapointed Pn. Anidah....the school, but mostly myself. Why, you ask? Well, I've just quitted the cross-crountry race. I'm not feeling very fit these few days....and Lily quitted too, just because I did. And to add to the guilt, Pn. Foo said it was fine that I quitted. She came right up to me, saw my long face, said : "Wan-Jun, you don't want to run? Well, nvm....you can not run". She's so motherly....I like motherly. So, I quitted. End of story. Full stop.

This morning, we had the "Majlis Perlantikan Pengawas" @ Annointment of Prefects at the assembly ground. Firstly, we marched in. Much to the amusement of the students, but they were nice sports...they clapped and wolf-called. (to those who think that the students clapped b'cuz we were good, think again). Then, we stand there.....while Muthu gave his speech....the head librarian gave HER speech...Pn. Limah, our beloved headmistress gave her slow-motion but otherwise inspiring speech...and the guest of honour, a soldier of rank....someone, gave his seepch. I heared not one word of it, I was too busy praying for it to end. Around me, ppl were taking huge intake of breaths. Jonathan beside me kept muttering something under his breath...Asraf and Ariff behind me were whispering....everyone was too restless!!!!

Anyway, after the speech and all, they presented us with our certs...and badges..and we marched back in. Took 5. All this while, I was busy looking at all the newly-annointed prefects and their uniforms. Dinesh, was a pleasant surprise....he looked smart!!! Never knew he had that in him. Elwin looked sort of self-compossed, which was good. Dhana was fine....HEY SHE IS!!! Rue Huei....looks preety. Biasalah...it's yours truly's mantee mah.

I daren't mention the odd ones out. But there were quite a lot. But, they'll grow into their uniform....heck, they will.

Juz a note to all the newly-annointed prefects: Christopher ain't as lenient as Muthu, it seems...given his instructions to wear the blazer while out of the security of our classes. But, he might prove to be one damn rocking cool head prefect!

To the form 2 prefects who were in the 03/04 batch: Most of us are already restless, wanted to quit...hang on there. Quit after the "Majlis Perpisahan Pengawas" if you must....for it'll be the last great event of the year in the prefectorial calender. We've been through it before....we can go through it again!!

Ending time: 9:19p.m.

Amazing Race ends....Survivor starts!!!

2004-09-23T21:54:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: Frustrated

Groovy tune: -

Current obsession: creating new blogskins

Starting time: 9:56p.m.

It's such a relieve knowing that he survived after all. That news passed through the "lisan" way can be misleading...

Anyway, I did get to watch the Amazing Race 5 finale. The winners? Chip and Kim, the married parents. It's so NOT FAIR!! They played lots of dirty tricks on Brandon and Nicole, and my favourite team, Colin and Chrisite. In the 12th league, Colin acted like a mad man. Guess he was desperate. He ascended the cliff in a few minutes only, displaying determination and dedication. He beat the moms, and also manage to stay qualified for the 13th league. Watch Amazing Race finale at AXN, for you would not have understood my sudden blabbings of "dirty tricks" and determination". Anyway, I still wasn't satisfied with Chip and Kim's winning. Colin and Christie was so competitve, so strong and yet they failed....just because of a delayed flight.

Nyway, I've signed myself up for a cross-country race at Taman Tasik Sri Pemaisuri on 25th Sept, Saturday. Little did I realise what I big mistake I've just made. Pn Foo insisted on us training 2 days before the race, so that our body can cope with the preassure. She brought us to the Complex Kampung Pandan and ordered us to run 6 rounds aroudn the track. Around the 400m track!!! It looks so huge...so humungous!!! By the time I finished, I could had barely hold myself still. I wanted to sit....bit I shouldn't. I wanted to walk, but I have no energy left. And the worst part is, other ppl seemed perfectly okay with the running. It seems that I was the only one complaining.

It rained heavily later that day. An hour and a half....it was pouring! I love rain. I love this time of the month! But sadly, it did not continue to rain until after school ends....For we had to stay back and practise our marching for the Annointment of Prefects' tomorrow....(looking forward to see Muthu and Chris, march). The probates received their skirts and pants today. It made me felt different somehow, even though I wasn't one of those happy ones trying one new pants or skirts. I sort of like felt that the probates had taken our place as juniors. The youngest in the board.....But still, if ya can't fight it, flow with it, right? The fella who made that proverb can't be a outspoken person.

I had a short " question and answer" session with Jonathan this morning. It involved my belief in his religion. He answered a lot of my questions....stated a few facts....but opened more questions. But, I still remain unconvinced. I'm the "seeing and believing " sort of person.

Ending time: 10:11p.m.

Guilty feelings...

2004-09-22T15:22:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: guiltly

Groovy tune: I Want to Spend my Lifetime Loving You

Current obsession: having the whole house to myself!!!

Starting time: 3:27p.m.

So...that's it. Dad and Mum packed with Qing Qing in tow and they left KL today....after Dad fetch me to school, he went home and picked up Mum and they all headed for Ipoh....to visit Grandad. They've asked whether I wanted to join them, but somehow I don't know what had possesed me, I denied their invitation.

What if Grandad had somehow left....? I will be dreaded with guilt, for missing the chance to see him for the last time.....

So, I went to school, as usual....denying myself the fact that he's sick....full of my cheery self. I sent in the letter of my absence to yesterday's morning briefing, and they rejected it. Why, you ask? Coz I did not punch two teeny tiny holes at the side!!! Ridiculous!

During the Living Skills ( Kemahiran Hidup) lesson, I had the privilege to 'enjoy' a hard day of sawing woods. It's totally tiring! I like nailing the woods way better.

Angeline doesn't like the idea of Christopher spilting up the Great Big Family. Well, neither do I...but I wasn't as adamant as she was. She begged Christopher....Chris said no. She asked Lawrence....Lawrence answered with a question : "why is the sky blue". What does that have to do with anything?? Honestly...At final last, Chris told her to see Mr Tan, and you know what? She wanted to.

Anyway, I went home with her today. Coz my family was at Ipoh, remember? I had the whole house to myself!!! It was good.....I ate and ate and ate...and watched Kim Possible....

Ending time: 3:40 p.m.

Love him....I will

2004-09-21T16:41:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: Sad...

Groovy tune: Once Upon a December

Current obsession: Eating M&M's

Starting time: 4:44p.m.

Why is it that after every happiness...something bad must come in and intervene?? I just found out that Lily's blog have the same music as mine.....Not that it's a big deal....but it's sorta make us have no originality...so I had to change my blog's music.

I had no idea why teachers are really short fused these few days. Pn Haslinda was one...and now, Pn Chin???? What's the matter? Something we did wrong? If it is, tell us!!!

We prefects have to stay back after school to rehearse for our 'pelantikan' on Friday morning. Jonathan said that marching won't be involved....and I was stupid enough to believe him. Anyway, it was just a lil' of marching....what I'm looking forward is to see Muthu march. It rained heavily, so we had to practise in the hall.

So, they've decided to spilt the form 2 prefects into 2....so that both the groups can produce 2 performances in order to satisfy the rules of '5 performances'. Well, I was sorta ok with it..except they're going to spilt up the Great Big Family!! It's like so NOT FAIR!!

Later, in the car...while telling Dad that I've signed up to represent the school in a cross country race on Saturday ( 25th Sept)...Dad said maybe I won't be able to make it after all. He said we might have to return to Ipoh....to visit my grandad. What's wrong? "He might not have long to live..." I can't believe my ears!!! I had never experienced loss before ( well, there was this once, when I was 5 years old, so I don't know why everyone around me was crying )...and this is my grandad! He who looked after me when I was left in Ah Ma and his care.....when Mum had decided to return to KL to work and thus, leaving me behind in Ipoh in her parents' care. Well, I don't remember him that much.....but he's still significant!

Warning : this paragraph is not for reading to those who practise a strong religion.....to those who believe in God truly. I hold no responsibilities for your actions afterward...I was just stating my opinions.

Mum had said that Grandad had never loved her. I don't believe a word. She had said that he prefered boys more and she being a girl, was not spared his love. Grandad had married twice, and Mum was from his second marriage. Grandad's spouse had died before Grandad married into this current wife ( my dear Ah Ma). From his first marriage, he had 2 sons and a 1 daughter, while from his second, a son and my mum. Mum said she was forced to work ever since she was young. In those days, I was proud to state, my Grandad's soy business almost put Yeo's ( you know the famous company producing all those air kotak?) out of business. And mum, being a girl, had to help her parents in those jobs. Sure, they did hired workers, but Mum had to help too.

Mum also said that Grandad always turn the tv's volume up whenever she's studying. And when she had migrated to KL, Grandad had visited her only once.....not to help, but to scold her right in front of all her friends. For that incident and all the others, she had not forgiven him until now... And so, she was adamant not to visit him, for the last time.....IF it's the last time.

I had started thinking. Why had God created humans? As long as a human lived, he will not contribute anything to God. Donkey years ago, humans had made animal and even human sacrifices to God. Why does He need those for? And now, humans did nothing except damaging Earth and its natural inhabitants ( which in this case, is the animals and plants ) . All those latest techonology was created by humans for the benefit of a better life of other humans...not God. He who had created everything, gets nothing in the end. The ancient Romans had said that humans were playthings for the mighty Gods. But why? All the religions and cultures in the world had believed in one existence : God.

Why were we created ? To suffer? For when we were born and the moment we die, all started and ended with pain. Our mothers was in pain when she delivered us, and when we had lived till the end of our life....we had also died in pain. There was no such thing as dying being painless. Our hearts stop beating, our brain had to cope with the lack of oxygen. So, why are we created? Past geniuses had tried answering these questions....none had succeded. None had managed to quench their curiosity. While, here I am.....asking questions.

To all the Christians...Buddhists....Hindus...and anyone out there who are reading this blog....I do apologise if my words had made you think daggers at me....but I am just a teenager seeking answers. Logical answers. I do believe in spirits....I do believe in the extra ordinary....I know there's some force of some kind which had created the human race......but I do not what it is.

And to my Grandad....even though I do not carry your surname....I still am proud to call myself a member of YOUR family....I tried convincing myself....and if God do really exist....I will shed no tears....for you had to leave the cruel world and return to His side. We loved you till the deepest core of our very hearts....but He loved you more.... May you be at peace...

Love : Wan- Jun,

Your female grandchild

Ending time: 5:21 p.m.

Everything's Not Right!!!

2004-09-20T21:38:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: Confused

Groovy tune: this blog's tune

Current obsession: This blog

Starting time: 9.39 p.m.

So, it's sorta official...I ditched tBlog. Blogspot's totally better. For tBlog, in order to customize your template, you gotta sign up for tBlog Pro, meaning show them the money! For this current Blogspot blog, I had spent lotsa hours which are supposed to be dedicated to my Maths hw, looking for the suitable blogskin, and after I found it, I needed to changed lots of settings in order for it to suit my taste.

Anyway, this morning, we had our prefects' picture, taken..! Well, at least it offers me a reasonable excuse to skip Geography lesson for half and hour. I met up with lots of the "ex" prefects.....those were the day....lol!! Hard to let go, ain't I? Anyway, just for fun...we dared Jonathan to enter the girls' washroom. And, he went for it!!! Not only setakat until the outside door....he went straight in !!! Let's hope there's no girls doing their business over there at that time. Jonathan...even though sometimes sorta foolish....is still a very very great friend to have. Hey, Joey! We CHERISH you A LOT!

I was still stuck at Maths. But after a few but torturous explanations from me dear pals....Xin Leng, Jonathan...I managed to sorta skim through. Through the way, I did make Jonathan close to the verge of tears...and Shasisri crying... We were all stressed up, and I was not helping matters. With me loud voice and insane laughter ( the laughter was to reduce stress).

Why can't a friendship as pure as Angeline's and Lily's sail smoothly?? I had to admit, I was a bit jealous....coz Angeline and Lily was SOOOO close....like Siamese twins joined at the hip....there never was one without the other. But, now...they're fighting silently everyday. If it's not this matter, it's that. If they have got nothing to fight over, they'll look for something. They're making me insane!!! [ juz an expression...]

I had to spend about a hour chatting wih Beng Fye, trying to convince him that he's likeable enough. Chatting with a genius is not as easy as it seems.

Haih...There's not much to say anymore...

Ending time: 9:52 p.m.

A Merit!!!!!

2004-09-18T23:35:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion : Unbelieving

Groovy tune: Miracles Happen

Starting time: 10:25p.m.

At my last entry, I wrote something about going to piano class. Anyway, yeah, I went there...got my exam results back. And...wait a minute...I got a MERIT!!! What's da big deal..you say? It's my first you see, in piano. I was never good at it. Sorta lazy...since grade 1 which was...err, 8 years ago? A score of 123...well, Angeline got the same score last year, when she sat for her grade 7 exam...I thought I would never make the cut, thought I'll fall out behidn her...for she's damn good, you see. Talented's the word. So, I'm kinda happy, that I've passed.
I've failed...twice before. And I never got a distincition. Never. I used to hear my first piano teacher ( I had 4 ) praising her students that got merit. Well, since I was barely over 7 at that time, and I never saw the word spelt, I thought it was M-A-R-R-I-E-D. So, I thought she's telling her students to get married, when they've got a good result. How illogical of me. Like I said, I was barely over 7.

I had made great progress over my pirroutes. It's some sort of dance step in ballet, so for those who are not in the know, you won't know what I'm talking about. I can make a full turn now, though my landing's still a lil' awkard.

Pn Haslinda dumped us with a whole chapter of homework. And the chapter's circles!!! She said we should had finished it in 2 hours. The fact is, she gave us mroe that 30 pages of homework!!!! I found it hard to do it. It's not easy to stuff all the formulae inside all at once, so in between, I painted my Art homework. It's turning out great, as far as a bull's eye can see. [ it's meant to be sarcastic].

Between my piano, ballet, taekwondo, logical hw ( Maths and stuff ) and abstract hw( Art, fer ex)...I liked ballet best. I would put them in ascending order like this: logical hw, abstract hw, piano, taekwondo, and ballet. I'm not talented enough in piano to call it leisure. And taekwondo was good...until they changed the sir. Ballet was the only form which I found easy to do. It's not because it's all girly and stuff, its' kinda because it works the muscle ( bet you never knew ). It's intense, it is. I like sports too, but sports tires one out easily. And ballet works you but your endurance lasts longer.

I wanna make a statement. I'll be exhausted next year. What with the PMR, grade 8 piano and theory, ballet grade 5 and intermediate foundation. All the exams will make me tear out my hair...especially PMR.

Ending time: 10:41 p.m.

Save Me!!!!!

2004-09-16T17:38:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: Stressed

Groovy tune: Solitaire

Current Obsession: friendster...

Starting time: 4:34 p.m.

Why on earth are exams created??? I mean, if you want to measure someone's inteligence of stuff like that, juz give them a monthly IQ test! There's no need for them to study till their brains cracked and bits and pieces of brains sip into the floor. EURGH!!! Pn Haslinda's teaching about the perimeter of a circle...juz thinking about it makes me dizzy, all the formulae, all the calculations, all the numbers!!! HELP! I used to think Maths's a piece of cake, wait till I enter form 4 and have Add Maths, I'll be halfway to my grave, then.

Anyway, I had a friendster account! I'm adding and adding and adding friends, from Malaysia, and other parts of the world! I've found old pals from old schools and new pals from other countries!

Muthu, had a blog already! OMG! I've forgotten, I've written something that ought not be seen in THIS blog, what'll happen if he managed to read it??? I will not want to know.
A lot of ppl wanted to quit the prefectorial board by the end of this year. Shalini's one. Well, I don't know why, she seemed perfectly at ease with her duties....Ariff also. If he quit, then Group C will only have one male prefect!! There's talks about Shasisri and Angeline quiting too....

Angeline AND Lily as usual, are talking about their respective crushes...boyfriends...stuff like that. Well, I don't mind really, it's just that they find ME as their OUTPUT!!!
I know I left a lot of hanging sentences above, well there's nothing to be done. I'm in a rush, you see. To piano class.. So, adios fer now.

Ending time: 4:43p.m.

Talk About Being Rude!

2004-09-12T13:28:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: Strained

Groovy Tune: I Can't Help Falling In Love With You

Current Obsession: -

Starting time: 11:23 p.m.

Well, it's official then, I'm officially a group C member. And that means, more nails-checking for next year.

Terrorists attacks are becoming more and more frequent. A recent one happened in one of our neighbouring coutries ( Indonesia), right outside the Australian Embassy. What's the matter with people nowdays? Had enough of peace? Enough of quietness? Wreaking havoc? Ok, I'm mistaken there. Not everywhere in the world's experiencing peace and quiet. Think I'm becoming selfish in that sentence. Sorry...

Had a new Friendster account. Everyone was asking everybody about their Friendster account, so I decided to join in the 'in' thing. Admitly, I was a bit disappointed. It's just a network of friends. No big.

Vicky, the PPMR, had just assigned me and 3 other prefects whom he dubbed as "da best " a new mantee each. Well, no prob there, right? It's the way he gestured and talked before he assigned us our mantees. He said stuff like them being the worst in the form. And he also purporsely pointed out that a certain one of them needed extra help. I mean, shut it! He's earning enemies already.

Ending time: 11:32p.m.

The World's Going to Da Dogs

2004-09-07T21:44:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: strangely delighted

Groovy tune: Kim Possible ( Call me, Beep Me)

Current obsession: a certain crime I've commited

Starting time: 8:35 p.m.

The recent school-taken-hostage case in Russia that's making headlines had gripped me to the core. It goes to show that no place is a sanctuary anymore. The terrorists had attacked a what most people think as a safe haven, for children got educated here, learn the meaning of friendship, have fun, hatch new plans on a unsuspecting teacher, and a gazillion of other things. It's a school, for heaven's sake! It's murder...cold murder...cold mass murder...

Anyway, moving onto lighter things, some sort of department in Malaysia had proposed the idea of building a marina right on top of the coral reefs on Pulau Tioman. I have no idea what a marina is, but I know it'll destroy the coral reefs. And that company, that proposed the idea, won't they ever learn? The same thing happened to Pulau Besar a few years back, and now Pulau Besar is just another island without sights of coral reefs. When will they ever learn?

Onto much much more lighter topics: the prefectorial board had reshuffled the prefects. I myself had been transfered from group E to C. Just when I had settled in and determine to start anew at the Excellent Egghead's club. Still, there's little consolation at the Catasthropic Clones' hangout. Jonathan's still in the Dangy Dragons, while Vicky got from the Amazing Apemen to the Eggheads. Angeline and Lily are still Apemen ( apewomen)
I commited a crime today, dated 7th September. It must be put down onto paper, for this is significant in my life! Actually, Angeline taught me and encouraged me to commit it. I was in the library, reading a very interesting bok, entitled 'the Enemy'. And the school day was about to end, I could put the book down, so, I slipped it under my arm and went out of the library, unnoticed by anyone. 'Cept Angeline, of course. She's my mentor! I will return it when I'm done with it, which is not long. I felt an urge to 'shoplift' again, though I doubt my conscience will allow it.

p.s.: Angeline and Lily are bickering again...as if that's something new

Ending time: 8:48 p.m.

Change of Scenery...

2004-09-04T13:43:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: Extremely relieved! ; xtremely sad

Groovy tune: the radio advertisment of "Booking Your Flights ONLINE"

Current Obsession: nothing in particular

Starting time: 7:23 p.m.

Like I said, I did not one inch of homework during the recent hols. So, I had to pay the price. You have to understand....they loaded us with piles of folios to complete, 4 to be exact.
There's the Geography folio, the English folio, the Science folio, and the Malay Powerpoint Presentation. Everything, except Science is due for passing up by the end of the first week after holiday!! I slogged, I grumbled, I cursed. The wretched Internet connection is spoiling my otherwise perfectly happy mood. It refused to go online no matter how many times I pleaded, threathened, prayed....everything!! It's adamant!

However, I managed to passed up all three, by working late into the night, and rising at before the crack of dawn. They're not what I call, work of art, in fact they're below my usual standard, but they'll have to do. Now, there's only Science to worry, but there's one more week to go, huh?
I am not feeling really comfortable with the current prefects' batch. The previous batch, which is the 2003/2004, was really really memorable and exciting. Even from the first day of it's new "taking over" Muthu proved to be a really nice compatriot, with his motto: "you do not work for me, but you work with me" ( I suspect he pinched the quote from the YAB Prime Minister). This 2004/2005 batch is, well, boring. We were not sorted evenly, the bunch of excellent prefects are all bunced up on one place ( take groups A and D for example), the AJKs ( superiors) are really serious, and the probates are worse than the last year's form 1s ( which are yours truly's form).

To cut a long story short, I really do miss Muthu and his gang. They're really nice. I do not know what came over me and make me look at the differences between Muthu's batch and the new elected head, Christopher's. They're both serious, but Muthu proved a nicer friend off duty. Christopher seems to only minding his own gang's business ( in his case, the lower form sixes) and not bothering to know us more. Sorry Chris, if you managed to come across this blog ( or if someone betrayed my URL to you) I really do apologise if my words hurt you, but.........it's a really nice batch and all but, I really do hope Muthu and his gang stayed. But life my go on, right??
Muthu, if you read this....I really really truly 100%ly missed your batch ( not your batch of cookies though someday, I would like to try it). It is said "absence makes the heart fonder" and another famous saying " out of sight, out of mind"...

Ending time: 7:39 p.m.

A March to Remember

2004-08-31T13:52:00.000+08:00

Blast of Emotion: Somewhere between weary and accomplished

Groovy Tune: "Inilah Barisan Kita" ( A patriotic song)

Current Obsession: my mum

Starting time: 6:36 p.m.

Can you believe it!?? They wanted us to reach school by 5:30 a.m. in the morning!! I mean, get real! If I had to reach by 5:30 a.m., it means I had to wake up somewhere around 4 in the morning and I'm not willing to compromise. So, I figured out a way. I made a few calls and in the blink of an eye, I don't need to reach there that early after all.

So, I was scheluded to take a lift with the LRT ( Light Rail Transport ). In other words, I can have all the time I want getting up. In the end, I did get up unceromoniously late : 6:30 a.m. To be entirely thruthful, I'm not one who hitch a lift with the LRT everyday, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. In a year alone, you can count with your fingers the number of time I did so.
So, I managed to get myself in trouble. I reached to station at about 6:40 a.m. Dad gave me instrustions to take the train on the other side and so, while trying to get to the other side, I managed to find the wrong staircase and thus, delay a few more precious minutes. While 'struggling' in the staircase, I met a few men. My god, they do look scary in the dark. I cabut lari ( run!!!) Not that they'll do any harm ( who knows?) I found the right staircase leading to the train and managed to board it with not a second to lose.

While in the train, I was a subject of much curiosity. Dressed in a bright green garment, hair tied in a bun and looking extremely breathless, I think I do provoke a sense of curiosity in some people. I also am count the number of stops the train'll be making. After a swift 10 minutes in the train, I got down, looking for May Yean. We had promised each other to reach the Masjid Jamek station by 6:45 a.m., and now it's already 6:50. But, there's not a familiar face in sight!
Again, strange thoughts clouded my head. Had they abandon me 'cause I was late? If they did, should I walk alone to the dataran Merdeka? I am not so sure about the latter, for eventhough it was not a long walk, it'll still be my first time walking a distance. Anyway, after 5 minutes and till stucked with decision, I approached the guard on duty and ask wheter he saw any schoolgirls wearing green shirts. Negative. I further ask for the route to the Dataran Merdeka ( he gave me a calculating look, cause almost every teenager in town can memorise the twisting roads in KL, apatah lagi me now who's asking for the route when it's only 500 metres away). But he was very helpful. He told me to walk straight on. I was starting to walk when the next train board in. And, surprise, surprise, there and then was May Yean!!! WHOOOOPEEE! Relief washed over me. For, I rather walk with a partner in the dark.

We waited for another arrival before setting out.We reached the Dataran by 7:15 a.m. Everyone's already enjoying their free food. We managed to gobble down some, and then everyone to their positions!!! It's starting!! We sang, we marched through crowds of waving supporters, parents, kids, babies, horse poo, cameras filming, the mayor looking on. All the time, we're shouting at the top of our voices kiri! kanan, kiri kanan (left, right, left, right )!!In the end, we did not win any cash prizes nor any claps. However, me myself and another Girl Guider managed to get our faces in the news that night. A 'My News Network' ( NTV7)reporter interviewed her, and I just squeezed in. But it still proved a memorable day. But, MY day had yet to end.

I took the school's bus home. Reached school at 10:45a.m. Dad said to pick me up at 11:00a.m. I waited, 11:00 came and go. Still, he's not in sight. I ponder the possibility of him involving in a accident. He did not answer. I called the house, no one picked up. At final last, I ring mum's phone ( we're still at war ), and the only thing I heard was the voice message system. And it's getting late, it's almost 11:45a.m. already. I wondered that since, IF he's really busy ( like in the hospital or something ) I should get home via the LRT, or even the bus ( if I do, then I have the freedom to go anyway ). When the amazing thought came upon me, still he did not materialise in front of me. By 12:00 p.m., I changed a RM 1 note into small change, with the thought of having my own adventure somewhere in the heart of the city. But, I still do not dare. What if he's only merely terribly late? How will I explain my absence? So, I waited on, guilt pulling me down, with an expectant look on my face everytime a Waja car passes by.

Finally, by 12:30p.m., he appeared, with no reason whatsoever of his lateness. I did not prod on, for mum's there. No, did she give me any answers. I found out later of the day from lil' sis, that they've gone to the Butterfly park, and I can imagine that they've forgotten. I mean, I'm just an outsider, right? When your'e having war with Mum, you're considered not a part of the family....

Ending time: 7:04 p.m.

Hectic Hols

2004-08-31T12:38:00.000+08:00

Burst of emotion: bored

Groovy tune: Olympics closing ceremony

Current addiction: Marching tomorrow

What else to spend the coming hols other than watching live, repeated Olympics from Astro Supersport? That's exactly what I did, and also a few other movies from Astro ( ex: Kim Possible). Olympics was, no other words to describe: Olympian! It had people crying foul, it had people shouting joy. I find no need to mention about the performances of Malaysian's atheletes, for they did superbly well, minus they depressing scores. Elain was a dissapointment, actually. She was shielded from all the so-called media glare by remaining in Malayisia when all the others had gone to the Games, thus making us believe that she's the ONE: the Malaysian hope. But, she lost in the first round not even exceeding 10 minutes. So, by her downfall, ends Malaysian's superiority over lesser countries. Bryan was a surprise. He was never a medal hope. But, however, he ended no. 19th out of 35 divers, failing to reach the final, but like I said, he was no medal hope. But, he had showed us that he CAN go the distance.

Other than watching Olympics, there's also new episodes of Kim Possible!! Nothing's IMPOSSIBLE for a POSSIBLE!! Nah, I think I'm to childish if I mention my favourite episodes over here, so we'll leave it blank, ok?

k..........

Then, I also had to look forward to the coming Independence Day marching. We're to marched past the town mayor( I do NOT even know we had one), salute, march round the whole of Dataran Merdeka( translated: Independence Field), wait at the field while others march past, and strain our legs as it has to stand still and wait. Anyway, no doubt, it was fun. For three days, and for three hours of the three days, we had to arise b4 6:15 a.m., for we're supposed to reach the school by that time. Then, the bus'll fetch us to the marching site, and we'll be provided with free food AND drinks( it's free, but I never said it's everyone's dream food), then we'll have to march. My group( the Girl Guides) are in the 8th group. In front of us are the Bank Rakyat marchers ( they have nice little orange shoes, so we prefer calling they the "orange-shoes"), and behind the Jabatan Ukur dan Pemetaan. The "orange-shoes" are a bunch of naughty adults. They know very well that we are kids( below 18!!) and still they'll smoke right in front of us and wafts of nicotine'll fill our lungs and we'll be making coughing sounds. But, luckily, no cases of hospital-emergencies, not yet. However, they are fun, too.

I'm loaded with a lot of schoolwork for the holidays, but surprise, surprise, not one was completed. I continue ignoring the woman I call mother, and she's the same with me.
Y'wanna know something. I think I'm accident-prone. I had always had accidents during the wrong time. There was this once, I was a newly appointed prefect in my primary school. I wanted to make a good impression upon oneself. Two teachers are walking down my road. I rushed towards them, intending to say "G'morning", and all I did was making a spectacle of myself. I ran, 'bout a few inches away, I fell, jatuh tersungkur, my leg went out below me, and I fell flat on my back. The teachers were too surprised to either laugh or help, in the end they did both. A lot of mishaps too, did happen. But, th recent one was I prick my skin with a needle.
I was refilling the colour printer ink ( refills are much cheaper), when suddenly the sharp needly prick my skin. And the point it pricked was about a centimetre from the artery ( the wrist artery). Since the needle wasn't big, so the blood did not flood my wrist. But, I had an aching pain there, and I'm scheluded to march in the Independence Day tomorrow!!!

Happy 4th of July 31st of August,everyone!
p.s: actually, I don't give a damn 'bout marching, I just wanted the certificate given out to the participants.

Heartbreaking....

2004-08-26T01:41:00.000+08:00

We stopped talking to each other after the "incidence". Usually, I'm not the one doing the consoling. After a day or two, things'll gradually grow back to normal, fights don't last. We'll be as happy as two lovers under a sun....

The fight happened partly because of my fault. We were watching the Olympics Opening Ceremony. You know the part where the last runner have to run up a flight of stairs to light the enourmous torch on top? Anyway, I was commenting that if that person happens to be her, she'll never make it. She'll be panting halfway up. Anyway, she started taking things seriously. Said something about how she was not appreciated and some other things like "you think you can make it?" Anyway, all I got as a result of my passing comment was a huge red mark on my face. I got a slap.

Day after that, she suddenly bursts into my room and went on saying how bad-mannered I was. And she threatened to stop some of the privileges I had been receiving. And somehow, one way or another, dad was included in the fight.

Anyway, day after next was fine. Fine day, fine morning. In case you still haven't figure out, "she" is my mother. Like I said, she'll be the one doing the consoling. However, that didn't happen. Well, I don't mind, no big deal. The less fuss, the better.

However, things stop being friendly around me and her. We don't talk to each other, we only aknowledge each other's presence. Well, since she doesn't talk to me, the chores I'm receiving are also decreasing. Fun, fun, fun!! What else to celebrate the holidays with free choreless days??

21st August, marks the 1st week annivesary of our Cold War. It's exactly a week after the Olympics Ceremony incident. And still, our communication's waning, day by day. Sometimes, I miss her. I miss the way she always todl me to eat fish (I'm fussy around those scaly little things, cuz of their bones) and she'll peel their flesh away from the bones and lay them on my dinner plate. And sometimes, she'll ask me whether I've taken my vitamins. On other occasions, she'll tell me of her day at work and I'll tell her of mine at school. None of these happens anymore.

Both of us are too arrogant to give in a little. Me, especially. What kind of daughter am I. I did not even bring glory to my family, nor even luck and now, I'm cutting off relationship with mum. Some of you would say " tell mum you're sorry"...well it's much more easier saying it than doing it. Like I said, mum's the one doing the consoling.

Sometimes, I would hide my face in bed and cry. Telling myself that I'm stupid and foolish for continuing this 'war', that tomorrow, I'll go straight up to her and apologise. But, that day never comes. Dad even made a special request for us to reconcile, but I was never brave to take the first step.

People say, cherish what you have today, for it may be gone tomorrow. I wanted to, but I'm a goddamn idiot!!!

Olympics Never Fail to Impress

2004-08-16T19:40:00.000+08:00

When the Olympics 2000 was held in Sdyney, Asutralia four years ago, I was like most people in the entire world. Don't know, don't care. You see, sports' not my major priority nor is it a minor, it's just some competition set to enthrall people across the world. But, not me......period.

However, for this forthcoming Olympics season, I followed the whole thing. I read about past heroes and heroeins, I searched about past world records and Olympics records, I analysed about the sports persons Malaysia's sending, and I watch the documentaries on Astro.
The heroes and heroiens, it seems are / were legendary. They were those who inspired others to follow in their footsteps. They were those who made sports headlines every sports season, but most importantly, they're those who recommend sports to other people in the world. They range from the famous Romanian gymnast, Nadia Commenaci, who with her 7 perfect 10s was and still is the only gymnast to score a 10, to the famous atheletics men runner, Michael Johnson who thrilled the world with his up-right body while running a bend. There's too many to count, but all of them had contributed to the Olympics that we know now.

Michael Phelps, the 19-year-old teenager who made a claim that he would try to overcome Mark Spitz's record of 7 golds in one Olympics. And also Yao Ming, the 2.62m of a basketballer representing China, that he would remain unshaven for 6 months if China failed to make it to the semis. Will they be able to live up their name....or otherwise....??

And Malaysia's also'll be sending her own best among the best athletes to compete. They are the best in the mainland, but will they clinch a medal in the Olympics?? The badminton team hopeful, from world men singles no.3 Wong Choon Hann, world men doubles no.1 Tan Fook-Wan Wah, and also the recent Malaysian Open men champion, Lee Chong Wei, will they fuffill Malaysian hopes of a gold medal?? Elain Teo, a taekwondo black belter, sports headlines had been betting their hopes on her. And also Josiah Ng, the cyclist, he'll look good in a gold medal after all the silver medal that he've collected from past world championships. We also have the youngest every participant, 12-year-old Bryan Nickson Loman, the diver...he may seem young, but he might be the ONE. But, honestly, I don't think so. Anyway, in the swimming event, Allan Ong, and Alex will be tough competitiors.

All of Malaysian hopes will be rested upon their shoulders. Will they be able to lived up our dreams.... or crumble down defeated? Only fate itself knows the answer. But, some things aren't meant to be fated.

Whatever the case, we have the famous Kodak slogan to inspire us..."it's okay...it's alright...go Malaysia...fight..fight...FIGHT!!!"

Friday the 13th

2004-08-13T12:45:00.000+08:00

Superstitious, am I? That's what the blog heading might read in most people's mind. Nah....
Friday, the 13th...most people thought as a bad day. A day when most terrible things ought to happen...the day that maybe the world will end. I just carry on my life as normal as possible, that is until something BAD happen to me...

I was in the hall, waiting for rehearsal to start. You see, we had to act in front of a camcorder so that we can view our own acting. Anyway, that time, I was watching people act. I put my spectacles in my jeans pocket and continue viewing. Everything was mixed-up but still fun. Music's coming from the piano on the left, where a talented friend of mine was busy trying to keep up with people's requests of different songs. I enjoyed the whole scenery. The sudden change of music.....people running around chansing one another....people acting out their lines and verses...and other people doing this and that.

Up till then, nothing's wrong. Everything's fine. I took out my spectacles, I need to look at something at a further distance. My spectacles when to my face. Suddenly, a sudden crash on the floor holt me back to my senses. My spectacles had broken.

The whole world came crashing down upon me. Mum'll be mad. No, mum'll be furious!! Eventhough it's my first specs, it'll still cost all the trouble to get a new one. The frame's broken but the lens are still in one piece. It seems that my jeans' pocket too small and the pressure had pushed against the specs and thus, you know the story.